"turn around and you're tiny... turn around and you're grown" -kenny loggins

dear grandpa and grammy:

i'm getting too big for my paci's. please keep them in a safe place for me. you might need to tell them a good long bedtime story at night because that's when they will miss me the most.

love,
lucas jude
++++

this is huge for us. my heart is still aching in a big mama bear way. i was a giant sobbing mess that day. how's lucas handling things, you ask?? oh, him? he's fine. it's me that needs the sympathy. it's me that needs a big huge new bag of tricks. he's all boy now. and clearly has a mind of his own.
long gone are the days of playing my music in the car, picking him out my favorite toys and reading only bedtime stories with pictures that i love. lullabies pulled from my guitar strumming girl brain files have been replaced with requests for "happy birthday" and "hakuna matata" again and again and again and again.

i have to remind myself to let him grow into who he wants to be. finding the balance between that and shaping him into a well rounded boy all at the same time.

roll over. check!
sit up. check!
crawling. check!
walking?! check!
solid foods. check!
wean the nursling. check!
send paci's to grammy. check!
snuggle back up in our crowded family bed. big fat check!
{did you really think i was ready for a big boy bed??}

goodnight you,
love, lin