Tuesday, January 15, 2008

"...and the world spins madly on..." the weepies

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photograph by alicia bock

the mind can play tricks.
show you your life in random shots like a video
with a crazed monkey for a camera man.
and I guess that’s the way you sometimes feel:
confused and out of control.
things go back and forth, jerk to a stop, back up, race ahead again.
there’s such an insane jumble that you don’t even know what you’re looking for,
or what you want of it all.
once in a long while though, something *accidentally gets found again
and you know it for what it is.
you recognize it right away, kinda like great friendships.
and you wonder how it could ever have been lost."

-excerpt from jessie’s journal january 15, 1999


  1. What is this the 4th time I've e-mailed you today? I just wanted you to know that I bought the book and I'm joining the sew-along group with you! This is my first group, I'm excited!

  2. A lovely thought. Thank you, lovely Lindsay.

  3. only ritz crackers.
    i only got to listen to it in my half sleepness but it WAS happy and i liked it. im going to meed andrea for a midnight drink and i wish i could play my new cd in my car.
    did you listen to cocorosie.
    im so bored.
    mom keeps telling me just go tosleep.
    i said if lin was here she'd be up with me

  4. Lindsay, I stumbled upon your blog and have been touched by some of your posts. I would like to use some of your words about depression on my blog because you described how I've felt so much better than I ever could. It's from your post about Virginia Tech. This is the part I want:

    however...i have been in that place where it hurt to stay awake. where even the days seemed dark. and i could sleep right through them if somebody would let me. the depression monster is a powerful one. it could swallow a person whole without a second thought. i've stared at myself in the mirror before and not recognized the person looking back at me. i've driven through rainstorms and felt like never hitting the brakes. i've been in a room full of smiling/laughing people and felt like no one knew who i was or that i was even there. felt like i couldn't breathe. i'm not sure what exactly sent me madly spinning. a combination of alot of things. probably my severely tender heart. one day back then, i couldn't stop crying.
    the depression monster is real to the people that are living with him. he's powerful. he can talk you into unimaginable things.

    Is that OK?

  5. i forgot to tell you that i'm a friend of jessie's...that's how i found you.

  6. You're very very welcome Lindsay! :) Thank YOU! xo ;)

  7. I think that crazed monkey gets his hands on my camera waaaayy too often. I love you, Lin. :)

  8. i can do that.
    you want a bookmark too?

  9. I love that picture, and I thought that quote can really hit home sometimes

  10. Thaaaaaank you for the letter. It was a little sweety. You are my friend.

    They plan donnas day here on sundays.

    When are you coming again?

    My room is empty, and I don't know what to do with it. So send me your ideas because you are the creative one of the family.

    Oh, tell andrey hello and that i was remembering his cheek patting problem and i was always so mean about it, but i now miss it. goodbye.

  11. I NEED to go to a concert - can you please find one - I can only make it about 30 more days without one... ok thanks, bye - amy