be grateful. be smart. be clean. be true. be humble. be prayerful.

a downpour of sorts...

i posted jessie's quote last week focusing mostly on the part about the crazed monkey. how he'd grabbed hold of my silly girl guts and had given me a good shake. not really realizing that the rest of my week would pull out all the stops and my life would be flooded with old friends and new friends... and just as her quote speaks louder than ever... i'd recognize it all exactly for what it was. a downpour of sorts. of genuine happiness. of good people, good food, of happy hearts and even better music. a downpour of true love and pulling together.
this... in no particular order...is how you saved me this week:

{you} rang my doorbell just as i'd taken a big deep breath of "i'm not sure if i can do much more of this day, today." you came armed with secret soul touching music and shared your talent of noticing the pretty ones that most people don't even hear. you were only here a moment but these songs have flooded my home/life/heart this entire week.

{you} watched my boy for hours. took him in and let him run a muck and jump on couches and laugh and fed his belly good. no questions asked. which allowed me to put on my headphones and turn them up all the way, so that i could give this house of mine a good sparkle. you have no idea how this saved me.

{you}, your sweet family and your spring-in-a-can came over for an afternoon of watercolor, happy kids and good conversation. you are full of inspiring everything. your heart is huge. do you know how much it means to this girl? this not-so-brave, sorta crazy girl? that you've noticed what i'm really made of?

{you} sent me a big ol' box of happy things. every single detail had you written all over it and i am in awe of your talents. not just what was in that box but the way that you have followed your heart and paved your path. do you mind that i tag-along? that i click through your pages and wish that i had been brave enough to do that or go there? thank you for thinking of me. for putting such lovely pieces of there into a box and sending them here.


{you} hopped on a first class flight at the last minute with my daddy and spent the weekend taking in the sights and sounds and salty smells of sea-town. my heart smiles at the thought of the two of you holding hands and telling secrets. my heart smiles at the thought of you taking care of you.

{you} put four candles on your little boy's forty dollar pirate cake. i loved celebrating him and what having you guys here in this town really means. it means taking giant leaps and being brave. and every year that he gets one year older and brighter and happier... it means that you're making it.

{you} sent me an email, just a quick hello to say that you can relate. and {you} left me a voicemail and oh! how i've missed your voice. and {you} wore those striped socks that make me giggle, while you did the dishes. {you} whispered twinkle twinkle little star all.by.yourself and {you} started walking!!!! {you} wore your pretty red coat and you've totally got that momma glow. and {you} told me you miss me.

you've saved me this week. and yes. i recognize it all for exactly what it is. a pretty little downpour of sorts. a downpour of good things...

"...and the world spins madly on..." the weepies

photograph by alicia bock

the mind can play tricks.
show you your life in random shots like a video
with a crazed monkey for a camera man.
and I guess that’s the way you sometimes feel:
confused and out of control.
things go back and forth, jerk to a stop, back up, race ahead again.
there’s such an insane jumble that you don’t even know what you’re looking for,
or what you want of it all.
once in a long while though, something *accidentally gets found again
and you know it for what it is.
you recognize it right away, kinda like great friendships.
and you wonder how it could ever have been lost."

-excerpt from jessie’s journal january 15, 1999

drumroll puh-leeeeeease!

i had so much fun collecting comments from you all on my bloggy-birthday post. we drew names last night and i will be sending a little package of goodies to daisha next week. thanks for playing guys! love, lin

snips and snails and puppy dog tails. that's what little boys are made of!

i asked reno if he would clean my car for five bucks. he said, "oh sinny. i don't need a job."
lucas just asked me for a muffin in his most sly of boy voices. the muffin he speaks of is topped with spoonfuls of confetti frosting. they are indeed not muffins but cupcakes. i fell for it anyways.



we set out the other day, detective gear in hand. off to find our fortune in reno's back yard. warm jackets, and lot's of giggles. the fortune: berries, clovers, shiny rocks, curly twigs and even a very old and sort of crunchy caterpillar. business as usual for these boys.

cam-reno and lucas jude (almost four and nearly two)

business as usual for me:
albums recently purchased and highly recommend:
*JUNO soundtrack
*josh ritter (the historical conquests of josh ritter)

books i've just read and highly recommend:
*the kite runner -khaled hosseini
*the bean trees -barbara kingsolver

today is the last day to comment on this post. tonight is the night we pick the prize winner!

see-d currently on heavy rotation around here: ryan adams and the cardinals (cold roses)

besides the berry wreath still hanging crooked on my front door, the holidays have been safely stuffed away into a giant red rubbermaid box. i was eager to pack it all up and get-a-move-on into spring. what?! winter has only just begun, you say? rats.
not cold enough to really snow. not warm enough to turn off the heater. so we're in this seasonal limbo, i guess.
my sewing machine has been packed away, as well. i had nearly overdosed on textiles and decided my family/my kitchen table/ and my brains needed a little break.
++i just looked over at my sewing girl machine and i swear she just gave me a wink.++
i guess she knows that dust will not gather as i already have a running list of new projects up my sleeve. (including this years sew-a-long. anyone else want to join in with me?)
since all gifts have been wrapped and opened and are currently being very much enjoyed, i can finally unveil all the sweeties i'd been working on:

A is for asher and animals

close up of comment treats that have officially hit the mail. not kidding. watch your boxes for these pretties.

deep brown corduroy + paisley cotton + double stitched pocket = drawstring bag for my momma

pajama pants for faithy, gabriel and mr. reno. and they all fit!!!

a funky canvas print for a funky natty cat's drawstring bag

dark gray corduroy + amy butler lotus cotton = gigantic hobo bag for steen

a mei-tai made for amelia and her growing baby bean

the prettiest brown floral cord + one big 'ol wooden button = a bag made with love for amy

it was so fun to have each person in mind while picking out the perfect fabric and drawing out personalized patterns. so fulfilling to my crazy artistic brains to see a project through from idea in my head all the way to wrapped up pretty and delivered. handmade holidays from here on out. wait. did i just really say that? don't get me wrong... we did purchase a few store bought items. with the handmade pledge in the back of my mind, i tried really hard to make sure they were thoughtful purchases. we found lucas some good quality classic toys that i'm hoping will be enjoyed and played with for years. he just brought me over one of his new wooden blocks and said, "cakey, mom. here." we then both proceeded to nibble away at our slices of wooden cake delight.



our home and hearts were full to the brim with love and joy and sweet blessings this holiday season. i hope yours are still warm and toasty, too. i think i'll leave the berry wreath up to hold me through until i notice the first spring crocus. happy two thousand and eight. doesn't that just sound good? cheers! -lin

**p.s. don't forget to leave a comment on last weeks post. i'll throw your name in a hat and will be picking someone for a run lucas run birthday prize. **

things i love: a fresh new calendar, red plaid flannel and harmonicas

*a slice of birth art from when luc was born to me*

"i began these pages for myself, in order to think out my own particular pattern of living, my own individual balance of life, work and human relationships. and since i think best with a pencil in my hand, i started naturally to write...but as i went on writing and simultaneously talking with other women, young and old, with different lives and experiences - those who supported themselves, those who wished careers, those who were hard-working housewives and mothers, and those with more at ease - i found that my point of view was not unique. in varying settings and under different forms, i discovered that many women, and men too, were grappling with essentially the same questions as i, and were hungry to discuss and argue and hammer out possible answers. even those whose lives had appeared to be ticking imperturbably... were often trying, like me, to evolve another rhythm with more creative pauses in it... and so gradually, these chapters, fed by conversations...from men and women of all groups, became more than my individual story... here with my warm feelings of gratitude and companionship for those working along the same lines, i return my gift from the sea..." -excerpts from gift from the sea by anne morrow lindbergh

one year ago tonight, exactly on the dot, this blog-life of mine was born. it was my resolution. to document my life/thoughts and the minutes of my super growing lucas boy. to have it all safely in one place. for one year. atleast. i wasn't quite sure what i would say or who besides me would even read it.
as i read back through my first year of blog and read through the comments that i have so graciously collected. my heart expands to huge.
it is hard to believe the change that has happened in one minute of a year. not only to me and my family... but yours as well. i've met some dear dear friends. some of you that i've never seen your faces or heard your voices... but hold giant pockets in my heart just for you. i've found long lost heart connections that have found a new place in me and we've reinvented what we knew as friendship before. i have revelled in the understanding that radiates through these pages and pages and blogs and blogs of you who have been there before and seen what i've seen. love what i love and appreciate and notice the secret small parts in this crazy big world that would otherwise have gone unoticed. a collection of women just like me.
i read your words like you read mine. my mind is racing with possiblities and ideas that you have inspired me with. i find strength in the way you write, create, nuture your children, grieve and love. you are rich with friendship and open hearts.
as i scan through this collection of words and pictures and moments captured of this passed year, i am amazed at my own journey. from then until now. the way i have mothered and loved. how lucas has grown into his self and how i've gone from nursing babe to chasing boy. to find ourselves settled sweetly into this new house full of love and safe joy. our first holiday here. new adventures... and wonder what will become of us a year to the day from now.
thank you again and again for reading me. for giving me this safe place to purge my thoughts and ideas. thank you again and again for writing your own words. just as they come out. for the chain of friendship that expands with each click.click.click. of our keyboards. this is bigger than all of us.

happy first birthday, run lucas run! for my blog birthday present, i'd like to know which post of any blog... anywhere... inspired you most. one that you remember and have tucked away safely. be sure and include the web url with your comment so that we can share in your inspiration. birthdays call for presents... so for each comment on this post from now until **January 11th**, my little family will pick someone to receive a special package of lindsay goodies. a box full of things i love. a book, a bag, a cd maybe... i'm not quite sure yet... but it will be lovely.
goodnight loves, lindsay