"they found themselves just floating free, from all responsibility...without the weight of being whole, some fruits evolved all on their own" -mirah

i'm having creators block. it's come on in full force. i'm so dang sleepy - i can barely move my legs and it feels like june just showed up out of nowhere. i'm not exactly sure if may was ever here, it happened so fast. drained. all the creative juice i'm made of has drained right through the tips of my toes while i was in my sleepy daze. i've tried alot of my old tricks to find my missing piece. (p.s. i'm not really sure what it is i'm supposed to be creating in the first place? but the lack of inspiration is killing me!)i bought some new music. both feist cd's. and the new jeff buckley compilation. i bought a new pattern book. i've browsed the little fabric shop uptown. i've cruised barnes and noble for a good book. i've taken a long drive. i've twirled around outside. i've eaten yummy-tasty food. i've kissed my andrey good. yet i'm still just yawning through the days. i've sat in front of this computer nightly and stared blankly at this blogger screen. nothing. it's reminding of the last time that this happened to me large enough for me to remember. i was living in seattle with G-love. the rainy somber days would have had any other normal artist locked to the art table. i was not. my trash can was full of half creations. my creative block hit rock bottom when even the *SALE* signs i'd color on the white board at 24 hour fitness were blah. G tried to save me. i came home from work one day and she'd set up a little cove for me in our one bedroom apartment. she put up my art table that had been stowed away due to my lack ability. gathered up every piece of art supplies she could find in our box of a house and hung inspiring posters on the wall. she sat me down determined to help me find the "missing synapse in my brain" that's what we called it. we bought sombreros and did a "karma" dance in our living room to good music. and i'm pretty sure it helped because since then, this is the first time i've felt this frustrated-empty.
in the mean time...i've been writing lists. lists of things i want to buy. things i want to do. things i need help with. ideas i have but don't know where to begin. things i want to make when i feel able again. here is my list. in no particular order:

*i want to know how to make these rings i found in the sundance catalog or atleast know someone that does

*i want to breathe in some seattle rain
*i want lukey to have these shoes

*i want 48 fresh primsacolor markers
*i want a button maker
*i want a long drive with 25 new itunes songs i've never heard before
(dear allyson- i'm pretty sure that you need to just send me your ipod because i'm in love with the 5 songs you shared with me and i'm ready for more.)
*i want to know what to do with these?

*i want people to know that
"war is not healthy for children and other living things"
*i want a room with walls to paint on
*i want one lucas free hour to sit and eat cheesecake
with ash and really learn of her
*i want bumper stickers for this since i accidently threw away the tail-lights and license plate it was supposed to have

*i want 3/4 a yard of this long lost fabric:

so i can make this:

*i want to know how to quilt this? i've never quilted before. machine or hand and i don't know where to begin. it's just sitting there. with all of it's pieces. waiting.

*i want a magic way to lose these last baby belly pounds
*i want to know where joey v. is
*i want to teach birth classes
*i want to go to a "sale yard" with amy and reno and find an arm chair
*i want someone to show me how to re-upholster an arm chair
*i want to dance with andrey
*i want inspiration. period.

can you help me check any of these off my list? please?! anybody out there?
a reward will be issued to anyone with information on the whereabouts of my creativity. you know where to find me.