"lovliness and tenderness and happiness and openness and togetherness and hopefulness and happiness, yeah yeah" -michael franti

there is a small corner in this big house. my momma's office. it's the safest place on the planet. dim amber colored light... perfect for dreaming up lovely schemes. a beautiful swirly rug. the biggest squishiest striped arm chair with a place to pull your feet up tight. a bookself full of delicious books. the simple smell of sage, lavender and the hint of incense that was burned earlier. it's my favorite place in the world. my momma will poke her head in every once in awhile to check on you... sometimes curl up on the floor and join us girls for long talks and good music. a place to dance. or cry your eyes out if you need too. it's safe here. we have always had the freedom in her care to be whomever we want. to turn out just the way our own story decides. that is very clear in this room. does everyone have a place like this? where is yours? close your eyes... what does it smell like? what can you hear? who is there? what does it look like? can you taste it? i'm such a lucky girl to have this space. to be going to bed cuddled tight tonight and sleep a safe nights sleep. to know that i will wake up tomorrow and probably do this day or one just like it all over again.

i think that we mother's all have pretty much the same wishes for our babes. that we will have a safe place for them to grown into themselves. that we will be able to protect them from all things scary and dangerous. that they will be happy and live childhoods full of adventure and wonder... and grow into wise "grown-up" babies of ours and have sweet babes of their own. don't we all? don't you think every momma... everywhere... thinks those same thoughts?


"i join with my sisters in every land
in the pax materna-
a permanent declaration of peace
that transcends our ideological differences.
in the nuclear shadow, war is obsolete.
i will no longer suffer it in silence
nor sustain it by complicity.
they shall not send my son
to fight another mother's son.
for now, forever, there is no mother
who is enemy to another mother."

i feel like i need to do something. and while i may be a bit naive when it comes to everything that we as a nation have got ourselves into... i do know for sure that i have been entrusted the care of this sweet boy of mine. i will be ordering peace packets from anothermother.org. let me know if you feel like doing something too and i'll send one your way.

"but it's all the same. same old song, it's the same old thing. cuz it waits ...it waits on you." -joshua james

cd's i need:
two gallants -steady rollin'
joshua james -the sun is always brighter
jose gonzalez -veneer

this is how i feel. like i'm trying to roll/run 90 miles per hour with too little shoes. my momma mobile got a flat. a much needed flat. (did i just say that?!!) we i needed to slow things down a bit. it's not like i've got that much going on, really. just that i seem to be in such a hurry to get it all done. i sleep fast, eat fast, pee past. i hurry lucas to nurse. i push us out the door so quickly (grab the purse, the shoes, the hats, the bags of errands.) the flat... it slowed me down good. with the spare still on today... we got up slowly. got dressed slowly. and with no hurry to get things that i couldn't get done with a spare tire on ... i decided to go at luc's pace. which is much slower than i realized since i'm always in such a panic to fit his wild carefree wandering into my hurried life. he was in deep thought today.

i'm not sure what exactly was on his mind... but it was important. the perfect time for me to step back and let him have his space and do his thing.


he had books to be read. bushes to look under. rocks to collect. slides to climb. popcicles to be eaten. dancing to be done. naps to be taken. it was such a sweet day... maybe we'll leave the gimp tire on through the weekend.

he's slowly weaning himself. (very slowly) which makes for new creative ways to put my boy to sleep. but with each nap that he drifts off on his own... i feel the dull ache of "fullness" and the pull at my heartstrings.
no matter how much i thought i was ready for this...

i studied his chubby hands as he ate tonight. his sweet lips sucking away. it was the prettiest little picture i'd ever seen. i took a snapshot in my brain and tucked it away deep. my babe.

a*love and i have decided we'll be packing up the brood and movin' ourselves back to washington. it's just worked out that way and it feels good and exciting. i got an email from rox.ana last week. i'd told of our decision and her thoughts on the subject had me thinking and thinking in great-lucas-deep-thought fashion. eyebrows furled. pros-cons-list-making thinking. tri-town is a creative killer. "you need to be in a place that is constantly flowing creative juices," she said. this i know. kennewick is as blah as blah gets. i have big dreams of a seaside seattle porch. planting our roots deep in the salty soil. our plan is to get there in a few years. this tri-cities move is supposed to be temporary. i told her how i envied her adventurous life. no dream stifling going on there. and i got to thinking about why not taking the adventure now? why this holding time to weigh things out? why?... well because i'm a wuss. that's why. because tri-town is familiar and safe. just like i do everything in my life. i take no giant leaps.
this has had me thinking. alot.
the same playlist plays over and over as i ponder. in the car. on the computer. the ipod. same songs. the mix i just sent out to a.h. and someday years from now... i'll hear jose gonzalez sing "ten days of perfect tunes" and i'll remember this pondering time. before we packed our boxes up. lucas still a little nursling. our slowed down day to think things over together. and i'll miss this contemplation time and smile about where we've ended up...
on a porch swing watching a northwest sunset and still dreaming big.
goodnight loves, lin

***

a sweet treat showed up in our mailbox yesterday from jen over at beebee mod! her new suburbia onesie design. love. love. love it. so did lucas. when i opened the package he said, "ohhhhh cu-utte!" and cute it is. she is such a sweet/talented/lovely momma chick. her blog inspires my creative guts and the way she balances her babes and her beebee mod store amaze me. her shop re-opens in a few weeks and will be stocked up with some lovely new goods and i hope that you'll all support the handmade etsy adventure she's on.

"baby don't be blue, gonna make for you... gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle" -quincy coleman

"baby don't you cry, gonna make a pie, gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle. baby don't be blue, gonna make for you, gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle. gonna make a pie from heaven above, gonna be filled with strawberry love. baby don't you cry, gonna make a pie, and hold you forever in the middle of my heart. "

lucas is in rare form today. he's cuddley and quiet. moving so very sloooow. oh yeah and warm. yes... he's caught some kind of a bug and has gone very quickly from my wild-thing-can't-hold-still-big-monkey-boy to this need-my-mommy-and-my-blankie-baby. my wee baby has a belly ache and i'm sure a big fat headache but can only wiggle around in my arms and wimper. and i'm not really able to tell him what exactly is going on.
i tucked the boys in last night and set myself up upstairs. my favorite pack of watercolors. fresh paper. playlists of songs. cup of iced lemonade. i was feeling the creative juice bubbling over. my knees tucked up to my chin... pajama pants and bare feets. so very much in my element... "llllliiiiiiiiindsaaaaaaaaaaay! come quick!!" i ran.
thus began my night. i was the momma. the one in charge. he needed me. what?! what do i do? i set us up on the couch the way my mom used to set us up when we got sick. lay down a sheet. stack up some clean towels. mixed up some emergen-c and put in a movie. then texted my mom to come downstairs. the momma needed her momma. between several changes of clothes (mine and his) and a couple times through the robots movie he fell quietly back to sleep. i scooped him in my arms and carried back down to bed sometime during the wee hours.
he's taken 3 naps today. yes. he is in rare form.

we had a great weekend. my silly mom and me trekked down to the gallivan center for the free peter, bjorn and john concert. nat and pres had saved us a spot right in the middle. my mom is great. it was awesome people watching. saw some real creatures! great concert. i was really only sure of one of their songs... but they were so dang cute that i'll probably plop down and buy the real cd. not just download some goodies. i'll make the whole purchase. =)
andrey and i went on a date. a real date. like i got ready all day kind of date. curled up my hair kind of date. we held hands and i'm sure i did some girlie-giggling. we missed lucas. first real date without him... and we were ready to come home. crazy crazy folks.
i finally made it to "the waitress" this weekend. my auntie, my gram, and my momma all took a girl trip to a late movie. i.loved.this.film. it's been a long time since i actually enjoyed an entire movie. the cast. the soundtrack. the story. every piece. i can't you tell how much i loved it. it's not playing in many theatres but go track it down and give it a shot. lovely. lovely.

it's quiet and peaceful around here today. i took a bath and got back into my pajamas. i think i'll finish up last nights painting and then go cuddle up with my feverish little sonny-boy and watch "botsssssss", again. happy monday. love, lin

"grain for grain, sun and rain... i'll find my way in nature's chain. tune my body and my brain to the music of the land" -peter, paul and mary

these almost finished pieces of lucas's rocket quilt have been wadded up on the sewing table downstairs taunting me. for some reason i was frozen at batted and quilted. the edging... scared me to death. i'm not sure why? i think i was afraid i'd ruin something that so far, looked pretty darn good. there it sat. laughing. i'd run out of projects. all things checked off my list... do i dare???! i dared. it's finished. first quilty-lovey ever made by me. and i am soooo-oh-so-very proud of myself.


happy august loves. comment treats go out tomorrow. finally. love, lin

***

***update: due to an annoying old navy commercial that snatched up my ingrid michaelson song and the overwhelming amount of google hits this song is bringing here... i've changed the title of this post. only because i despise drawing attention to myself. (and i hate when my song loves "sell-out" on me.***)

"oh hiiiyeeee!" he says. first thing in the morning. first thing at 6 am. with every bit of sweet enthusiasm that his 6 pm voice has. i open one eye and in a groggy/gruffy-not-very-sweet voice say, "oh.hi.lukey." and pull the pillow over my head. i take a deep breath, stretch my arms and leggies... and try again. "good morning to lucas!" i say, a bit cheerier. he smiles, does a quick search for his paci under the covers... plugs it in his silly baby lips and snuggles up to me. if i'm lucky he'll snuggle for a couple of hours. i love this. this good morning of ours.
...and then onto our lovely summer day...

sundance catalog arrived today. delish. drooling over these:





and this... oh my... yes... this:

my momma and i can't stop talking about this camper. this camper that costs 24,000 big 'ol smack-a-roos. we want it. and we hope that for the price they're planning on throwing in the pretty little meadow in the background to go with it. oh yeah, and the cherry pie too. we want to know who buys one. because that person is rich... has great taste... and needs us to be their friend. we're probably soul mates. so if you're out there...???? we belong together. you, me and this camper. i'll bring the jars for firefly catching. and wear a twirly dress for dancing under the stars.

the boys are tucked safely in our bed. my regular blog time. it's raining outside. crazy rain. and thunder. lightning. is this dangerous? typing in lightning?

the apron's finally done! it's from amy butler's "in stitches" pattern book. i love it. love the finishing touches. the sweet pocket. the towel loop. i've already made another. thanks go out to my super model sister jade aka june cleaver. this ones already been folded up sweetly, wrapped in pretty tissue paper and given away. someday i'll keep something for myself... or start charging folks. i'll accept fabric as payment... ha!
good night loves, lin



p.s. my little lindsay finger has healed in super human time. i let my momma use secret herb remedies and i snuck it in some good fresh air. a good 'ol chunk is missing though. silly finger of mine. what an ordeal that was. happy to report that all pretty fabric was spared.

"you pass through places and places pass through you... but you carry them with you on the soles of your shoes" -jolie holland

the boy finally took a real nap today. a couple hours of good nap.
i had time to:
-shower a real shower. shave my legs kind of shower.
-eat a good...sit down quiet lunch. and snack on a yummy juicy pear.
-get a start on the enormous pile of laundry
-straighten up the kid toys everywhere
-read my mail and write back some good words
-sort my fabric and get to work on my comment treats...

he woke up wailing
just in time for me to:
-slice off the tip of my prettiest pointing finger.

isn't that just how it goes?

peace y'all. -lin

"be this sunset one for keeping... this junebug street sings low and lovely" -iron and win

i've been waiting all day for my night-time-alone-time. my list of things to do come luc's bedtime kept getting longer and longer. soak feet, paint toes, pluck eyebrows, catch up on bloggy reading/writing, make a treat, read magazine, play with new fabric. so here it is and i'm in love with the peaceful quiet of my sleeping boy loves, dim lights, and pete yorn singing softly in the background.
my eyes are droopy. i am deep in the throws of a twelve hour drive hangover. we traveled all day yesterday...my boy and me. home from washington and a great summer vacation full of singing willie and the dry k-town heat. lucas become a boy on this trip. a real boy. he ran around with his cousins, splashed in puddles and ate big boy sandwiches.


i looked at a house while we were there. not exactly what we want...but i looked. it's a start and i feel washington calling us home. will we listen? i'm not sure. we're still so torn. the great debate is still raging between a-love and i. both of our minds changing from one minute to the next. how do you make a decision like that? maybe we should just pack it up and keep on driving. any suggestions? i visited our storage unit. saw my couch. the big brown box with "luc's nursery" written in marks-a-lot. i wanted to climb in and cuddle up on my very own couch and take a good nap. it was a bit surreal to pull the cord and turn the key on the padlock to all of our belongings. our life as we know it so far is stuffed in that room. hmmm.
i could not wait to get home and share what goodies seven, seven, oh-seven brought to me. a lucky day indeed. i found these:

at joann's. yes, joann's. did all you crafty ladies out there already know that if you dig enough you might unearth some alexander henry delights at joann's??? why didn't someone tell me?! and at such edible prices too! i couldn't believe my eyes when i spotted the apples and pears out the corner of my eye. i bought the rest of the bolt when my fabric-crazy-heart took over. i don't even know what i'm going to do with it yet. i wanted to make an apron out of it before. but what else?! and the rest! perfect for the comment treats i'm hoping to whip up this week and send out to you lovely commenting friends of mine.
this was waiting for us on the counter when we got home. the summer tank i ordered from quilt baby. it's adorable. too bad lucas was too busy getting into everything that is messy for me to get a picture of him actually in it!

luc has so many blankets. so many. i imagined him running around with his favorite "lovey" and even tried forcing my favorites of the bunch onto him. i'd snuggle him up with the polka-dot blankie his auntie made...the flannel one my gram crocheted...the space-puppies that faith made him...he would kick them all off. wanted nothing to do with them and especially not to be cuddled up in one. well today...today he carried this thing all over the house. all day. this five dollar receiving blanket i got at old navy. are you serious??!!! this is the one you're going to pick?! ha. sweet boy.

off i go my loves. to rest this restless head of mine. i wish you happy feet... and dreams of lovely new fabric and smiley baby boys.
love, lin