there is a small corner in this big house. my momma's office. it's the safest place on the planet. dim amber colored light... perfect for dreaming up lovely schemes. a beautiful swirly rug. the biggest squishiest striped arm chair with a place to pull your feet up tight. a bookself full of delicious books. the simple smell of sage, lavender and the hint of incense that was burned earlier. it's my favorite place in the world. my momma will poke her head in every once in awhile to check on you... sometimes curl up on the floor and join us girls for long talks and good music. a place to dance. or cry your eyes out if you need too. it's safe here. we have always had the freedom in her care to be whomever we want. to turn out just the way our own story decides. that is very clear in this room. does everyone have a place like this? where is yours? close your eyes... what does it smell like? what can you hear? who is there? what does it look like? can you taste it? i'm such a lucky girl to have this space. to be going to bed cuddled tight tonight and sleep a safe nights sleep. to know that i will wake up tomorrow and probably do this day or one just like it all over again.
i think that we mother's all have pretty much the same wishes for our babes. that we will have a safe place for them to grown into themselves. that we will be able to protect them from all things scary and dangerous. that they will be happy and live childhoods full of adventure and wonder... and grow into wise "grown-up" babies of ours and have sweet babes of their own. don't we all? don't you think every momma... everywhere... thinks those same thoughts?
"i join with my sisters in every land
in the pax materna-
a permanent declaration of peace
that transcends our ideological differences.
in the nuclear shadow, war is obsolete.
i will no longer suffer it in silence
nor sustain it by complicity.
they shall not send my son
to fight another mother's son.
for now, forever, there is no mother
who is enemy to another mother."
i feel like i need to do something. and while i may be a bit naive when it comes to everything that we as a nation have got ourselves into... i do know for sure that i have been entrusted the care of this sweet boy of mine. i will be ordering peace packets from anothermother.org. let me know if you feel like doing something too and i'll send one your way.
Lovely Lindsay, Sinny-mom, my baby girl grown up,
ReplyDeleteI lOVE that you love my sacred space. This room is a tiny piece of sanctuary in the chaos that we seem to oft' find ourselves in the midst of. This gift of space has evolved from just plain "breathing deep". Sometimes it's the breath of pure joy (I was in here when I received the package you prepared to announce Lukey's beginnings). Many times it's the heavy breathe in-breathe-out that only an anxious mother waiting for a missing child can know. We've witnessed the actual focal breathing of Amy-mom here as her birth journey was starting up. In this striped chair, Natty-mom and I first heard Presley's itty bitty heart beating. Breathtaking. Not many weeks later, I had to remind myself to keep breathing and center when it was clear that Nat and wee one were in serious prenatal trouble. There's been some serious catching a breath between laughter when dancing with the babies. Konichi-Wa-Wa to Lukey and Pres. Sometimes I actually work in here. There have been some deep sighs of relief when big projects were completed or I 've found an answer to someones's complicating symptom in one of those fat textbooks. Mostly I seek myself here. As your mama self has discovered, most of your waking hours now belong to the care and keeping of another. Having even a small space to gather your own self back together becomes vital. The things that seem to have collected in here, are those things that must have shouted out to me or someone who loves me. My amber Pier I lamp, my Anthropologie rug, the lucky Sundance outlet find-squishy chair, the framed leaves from Issaquah, my stardust and golden birthday quilt, the crated roses from Artichoke, the Grateful Dead handbill from Andy and his dad. . . pretty much everything in here has a love story to tell. When surrounded by such a blanket of tangible joys, gratitude is abundant and the demons of our dark moments lose their power. It's a place where God is clearly available and answers to the heavy questions are nearly as tangible as the many pretties here. Everyone needs a sacred space. My life has been saved by mine. Not even kidding. It brings joy to my mother heart that you KNOW of the spirit that dwells here. Breathe it up as you make your plan to move on. . .
MomCat
I don't have a sunshine room like your momma does. Maybe one day. I would love that. But everyone has something I guess. This is going to sound silly but my space is "my side" of our bed. For one thing I absolutely LOVE our bed. Its a king size cherry wood sleigh bed that my gramee and grampee gave us for our wedding. The mattress is super soft and very sink-in-able. There's a night stand on my side with my eiffel tower lamp and always a stack of books. At night after the babes are asleep and Dave is getting ready for bed (this seems to take him an awful long time) I have a few moments to myself. I climb onto my spot, switch the light on and have a few moments to be still. To think. To read. To calm myself down. To just be still. I started this routine during those stressful days of grad school and I don't think I'll ever let go of it.
ReplyDeleteLin, I forgot to ask you about this cute babywearing you've got going on. Is this a mei tei wrap? Tell me where I can get my hands on one of these.
ReplyDeleteit IS a mei tei wrap! my latest creation. i will shoot you an email this instant and tell ya all about it...
ReplyDeleteI want to know about the wrap too. Now for my safe place. My home and the Temple. Two places that I am loved, where I love with all my heart. Also in my home, I have my "own" room where I have sewing and scrapbooking stuff EVERYWHERE!! I don't know what I would do if I had to give that room up.
ReplyDeleteI worry about raising my babies in this crazy world. Satan is everywhere...even in our homes if we are not careful. I am worried about the internet and all the BAD, HORRIBLE things that lie in there wating to pray on my family. How does one go about teaching their child about such things? I see too much bad on TV and in the lives of those I love to be ignorant about it.
I am adamant that my home will be a place for the Spirit of God only. No bad spirits here...I cast them out! I love coming home to see my boys when they have spent the day together!! They are my world and I am blessed to be their wife and mommy!!
Sleep good mommy lin...I am going to go kiss my baby goodnight (again) and then snuggle up to the love of my life and sleep a good sleep myself! I love you lin! You are inspiring to me. We must get together soon!
I love your writing and I am scared about the world we are raising our children in. What words they will hear before they should, what things they will see before they should. Yuck! All I say is yuck. And then to hear a child in Iraq was burned to death just the other day. My heart goes out to the mommy. The pain that most people are experiencing over there and in other parts of the world are so beyond anything I could ever fathom or hope never to experience. I love my kitchen. I feel safe in there, sitting at the dinner table with my family and saying our dinner prayer. I love that. And my cup of coffee in the morning.
ReplyDeleteRight now I don't have a cool place to curl up and be cozy, my house is all in boxes!! Can I borrow your place?
ReplyDelete