found + familiar

i am finally feeling the fog of pregnancy-and-birthing-and-growing-babies lift with the change of the seasons. am tossing around thoughts of weaning my little nursling bundle. 

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it's been nearly four years. four years since i've had myself to myself.  

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with the lift of the haze comes the surge of creative energy. i feel like doing and making. which is so strange because only a few months ago i'd sworn off nearly everything creative and made plans to pack it all away. 

explain that to me someone? 

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i am anxious to see what i'll do next. i feel the excitement in my thumping heart. the get-busy in my hands. have explored through old boxes of me piled in the garage to see how i've channeled this energy in years before. 

i found:

mixed tapes. 

collages. 

poetry. 

paintings. 

books. 

love letters. 

things i'd forgotten i'd known how to do.

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think i still can? think i still can. 

i'm going to need some good music to do it with. 

we started our get creative today. lucas has wishing and hoping that i would give him a spare hour or two to get out this printer's kit. we found it at a used toy store downtown. it's the same kit my brother and i had when we were the kids. the same yellow rubber stamps. the same bottle of blue ink. 

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isn't it the strangest thing when your brain recognizes something so familiar. 

we made a comic strip. ROgERS SPY MYSTERY - with a little g on purpose. because little g's just look so awesome! lucas has the gift of creating. an eye for the good stuff.  just like me. and my brother jeffrey. and my cath-mom. and my grandpa dan. it excites him and calms him all at the same time.  we spent the entire afternoon with our printer's kit. until we were nearly up to our elbows in blue ink. and maybe even a little on the tip of gavi's nose, too. gavin loved counting the letter stamps. lining them up and then reminding us over and over again, that those is NOT green ones! 

i miss the mess. andrey said to me the other day. 

your fabrics and projects all over the place. 

your music turned up loud. 

you lost in something you love. 

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