this boy’s party

:: i printed out pictures of gavin’s first year and strung them all over the house ::
 :: gift bags for cousins – planned/picked/stuffed by big brother ::

:: lemon cream cheese cupcakes! ::
  :: presents from all of gavin’s lovies::
a shaker rattle handmade by faith + asher
a bob marley shirt from kody + jade + regg
a handful of happily wrapped goodies grandpa stowed on the plane from grammy’s house
the biggest-most-loved-orange-bouncy-ball-ever!  from amelia + uncle jeffrey

:: birthday hat – handmade by his crafty cousin faith astoria ::

    :: a bucket of gavin pictures to thumb through while washing cupcakes down with IBC root beer ::

++++

i promise you that despite the picture below -
grouchy gavin did manage to smile and enjoy himself during his quick lil’ celebration.
the giant orange ball was all the party rage.
happiest i’ve ever seen him in his whole 365 days!
silly, silly boy - i love him so. 
 

baby mine

gavin west – year one
++++

“he could've been here all along
he could've been anyone
but there is no one who - could wake my heart like this
could break my world in two
::i felt a suddenness::
the day fell completely still
the dream was a lot like this
but I never knew until
he came to meet me”
-hem

happy “birth” day baby boy.
i still can’t believe we did what we did that day.
i love you.

i’ve got myself a little sunbeam

 

this is my sunday boy.
very classic lucas j.
++++
as we {andrey + i} contemplate the idea of more someday babies
and whether or not this family of ours will be growing sooner or later
{as if that’s even up to us, anyways}
i am brought back to this boy.
he will be the oldest - the biggest brother.
always.
++++
i am learning to mother by him.
i am treading water with him some/most days.
i am grateful for him.
that he is patient with me some/most days.
that we are figuring it out.
i need to remember that he’s never done this before either.
++++
tonight just as the speakers turned to a new loud jammin’ beat {wyclef’s yele medley for haiti}
he caught my eye from the other room and we met in the middle of the floor. fast.
we got lost in the rhythm – dancing and laughing and missing our far-away loveys.
++++
we’re old soul friends.
lukey and me.

in retrospect

  
i love looking back. seeing things for what they are now and then seeing where i was at then in comparison.
last year at the MLK bell ringing ceremony -  i was big baby bellied. we were full to the brim with  obama hope.
++++
this year i was a little late. little brother tied up in the mei tai. we didn’t get there in time for a bell.
but we did make it for “the laaaaaand of the freeeeee and the home of the braaaave!”
big brother was a little too wiggly and giggly to sit through the whole ceremony -
but we did get a close up glimpse of those rockin’ drums.
we snuck out early with cousins and friends in tow. out to the art tables and we celebrated that way.
with color-full paper doll crowns and lemonade.
++++
back at home we parked in the sun shining on our driveway.
luc crawled up to the front seat and we had a makeshift picnic lunch in our car.
we talked of then. of martin luther king jr. 
we talked of now.
++++
then he jumped out the car door and ran around in the grass – happy as can be.
perfectly fitting for a day of sunshine and celebrating.

today was a good day.
*

three years old rocks my world

lukey art – january 2010

i have a clear memory in my mind of making art as a wee girl. i’d been busy intensely drawing. a square box with rows and rows of  square “bricks” on each side to be exact. i remember my mom squealing with delight at what my little hands had drawn. she’d even loved it enough to show it off to my dad, “look! lindsay drew our house!”
and then sliding the drawing into the front of one of her work binders for safe keeping – to be displayed! i loved this.
++++
i also remember attempting the re-draw the same square house of bricks whenever i had my hands on a drawing tool of any kind. just hoping for the same reaction.
++++
while visiting with miss presley {luc’s twin-cousin} on my last trip home – she proceeded to draw me a full on wild thing. complete with sharp claws and gnarly teeth! i was amazed at her left handed creation and couldn’t help but wonder how much longer i’d have to wait for luc’s creative brain waves to reach his little boy hands. i thought of  how i’ve pretty much been shoving all kinds of art making tools in his face - just waiting for the long long leggie drawings, well… since he was born.
++++
and yesterday - they just appeared.
++++
little sticky notes stuck all over our house.
big round faces.
dots for eyes.
long long legs attached to tiny scribbled shoes.
some smiles.
some frowns.
and a chubby baby one.
++++
i am in love with three years old.
i am convinced he needs oils. and canvas.

must. get. well.

  {the view from tucked in my covers}

i finally gave in and went to the doctor tonight. going on day five of fighting some fierce sick-o of a germ. each day a new symptom. each day a little worse than the last. come to find out i’ve got a raging ear infection. adults should not have ear infections. and to top it all off i’ve completely lost my voice. 
++++
thank the heavens for text messaging.
thank the heavens for late night rosanne re-runs
thank the heavens for friends that feed my family.
thank the heavens for comfy duvets.
++++
i’m going to tuck myself in with a new book. a ridiculous love story.
send me get well wishes, would ya?
this is the pits.