"and i was surrounded by a language in which i could say only hello... but you spoke so that i could understand" -ani difranco

i got a package today. two actually. mmmm three! three great packages.
first one: lucas got his first birthday present from asher-buggy. wrapped all sweet and green. asher, luc and pres where all born within a few months of eachother. we always say that they just couldn't let eachother come on this adventure without the other. asher was brave enough to come first and luc decided to stay behind as long as he could with presley (seriously as long as he could) and pretzel didn't come too far behind. hurried herself right up to find her friends.

steen called to tell me that nat had gone in for an appointment and her little one couldn't wait any longer. they were going to take her in a hour or so and deliver her baby. my heart beat a little faster and i told steen to take good care of nat until mom could get there. i packed lucas up into the car and we headed over the bridge to pasco to find jeff and amelia's house. when i got there no one was home so lucas and i had to just drive around with all my nervous energy. my luc slept in the backseat the entire time. atleast an hour or so. which is hard to believe. he was only 4 weeks old and hated to be in the car. he slept so peaceful and i just drove and drove until steen called again to say that presley brynn was here! and beautiful! and healthy as her tiny self could be. that natalie was fine. that all was well. it was only a few moments later that lucas woke from his sleeps. we like to say that he was dreaming of his little friend. waiting for her to safely arrive from her journey. we laugh how the three of them will be in the same grade...go to the same proms... take good care of eachother. asher sent luc some share clothes in his package and it amazed me that they are already nearly the same size. he caught right up. i love that they will be cousin-friends.

lucas already gets on presley's nerves. she cries out for help when lucas even gets close to her in all of her girlie-ness. but secretly sometimes when we're not looking we catch them holding hands. and when she first sees him in the morning she kicks her little leggies and smiles her girly smile. best friends. so luc's first birthday present came today. from his asher-buggy. i can't wait for his party. can't wait. well truth is... i could. where is my baby?

second package: from babyant.com. luc's kurt cobain surprise. i found it online months ago and have been waiting and waiting for the right time to throw down the cash for such a purchase. the coolest t-shirt ever. it's even cooler in person than it was online. i'm going to wrap it up along with his new seekairun shoes for his birthday. again...where is my baby? this kid of mine is going to be walking in a matter of days. i had to buy him "real boy shoes!" we're best friends. lucas and i. we sing in the car together. we are learning a secret language. we love to read books to eachother. we love to sleep in.

third package: my amy-mimi sent me her first made-by-herself mixed cd. and it's delicious. soo good. i had andrey take the big car to work today so i could clean up my jetta girl. she was so happy to see me. after i put luc to bed tonight, natalie and i snuck out to get a treat. it was dark out and i knew where all the jetta buttons were to get her back to her old self. moved the seats, turned up the bass a bit, opened the sunroof and put in my new see-d. first song...brandi carlile. my new favorite. the song will be on repeat for the next few days or so. it struck a place in me. tapped into something. there i was driving around in the dark with my natty and my jetta-girl. loud as could be. my favorite thing in the world is learning to love a new cd. learning to love it enough that when you hear again years later in some odd funny place that it takes you back. takes you somewhere else. and you can hear and smell and feel what you were during then. i won't tell you the secret that this song remembered for me tonight. but if you listen to the song and it reminds you of me...then maybe the secret was you. goodnight you loves, goodnight. -lin

for you:
the story -brandi carlile
hypnotized -ani difranco