when he's grown a foot or two...

today started out with it's regular sunday expectations. and for the most part everything went seemingly smooth. sunday-ing has definitely become a team sport in this household. and every sunday that andrey helps me to round up the khaki's and button downs - i thank my lucky stars that our sundays have begun to look like this consistantly.

+++

lucas bore his testimony in sacrament meeting today. 

he tugged on my shirt and said:

i want to go up there.

i told him:

hold on. 

and to make sure that he had something in his heart that he needed to say. 

his little foot started to twitch and he fumbled with his tie for a minute. 

and then he stood and made his way up to the pulpit. 

his hand trembled holding the microphone - his lip quivered a bit. 

he spoke truth and wise old-soul words.

loud and clear with eyes focused on us. 

then proudly found his spot back on our pew.

i could feel his heart chugging.

and his relief.

+++

andrey and i were married in a little chapel downtown. and those first few years of sundays together looked alot like a cuppa-starbucks, crawl back in bed, and football until the sun went down. they were dreamy. and snuggly (not gonna lie) but they were also a bit empty. and more often than not began to feel like just an extra day thrown into the mix of other days that felt the same. 

then came lucas. lucas jude. with his thump-thumping heartbeat that was bigger than anything else that i'd ever known. we'd wished for him for years. and in what would be the last few months of yearning and waiting for some/any sign of him - reminded me about prayer.
...and that it really works. 

i began to find myself on my knees more and more after that.

which eventually found me feeling extra brave on the back-row-metal-seats.
just me and my squirmy two year old.
those were hard days.
heart-achey days.
what am trying to do ??? days.
but we just kept on suiting up and showing up and soon we'd even add a squirmier gavin west to our sunday bench.

charlie grey was born on the sunday of the primary program nearly three years ago to this day. and lucas had an important part to say in the lineup of little ones. he'd been practicing. a lot. enough so that we knew he'd be so disappointed to miss it. and so as i snuggled my fresh little armful of baby boy only hours old, andrey scurried around the house to get the other boys into their handsome clothes. then he climbed into his slacks and shiny shoes, too.

he's been sunday-ing with me ever since. 

we've hosted several missionaries in our home over the years. for dinner, for lessons... always welcome. the boys adore them. and in a special holding place in my heart i've always felt that there will someday be a missionary meant just for andrey...