Tuesday, May 19, 2009

this day. this minute. this right-now.

dear lucas,
i love:
your pink sun-kissed ears from riding your tricycle on the back patio
your shaggy silly boy hair
the way your brain has been sorting out your thoughts these days. so thoughtful. so clever!
your cool kid t-shirt collection
the things you’ve gathered to stash in your secret treasure box
the songs you love to sing
that you’ve stored a tiny bit of baby chub in your hands – just for me

lovelyday 060
andrey usually calls us when he’s on his way home. we chat about the good/bad things of the day and he says a quick “hi-ya” to lucas. their conversation on monday must have included something about it being super hot and how thirsty andrey was because  i passed the front door  a few minutes later and saw this: my lukey boy patiently sitting on the front porch with a sigg bottle full of cold water. i asked what he was doing and he said, “oh. just waitin’ for dad.” a few minutes later i heard andrey’s squeaky van pull up and my happy boy yell, “dad! dad! here!” followed by a very tired daddy voice, “thanks, man.”

i really really really love lucas. and this picture makes my heart swell and tears squeeze out of my eyes. it’s been sort of difficult to sort out our mama-lukey relationship since gavin came along. i am tired. impatient. and my crying/growling/yelling newish-born is constantly attached to me with some sort of baby wearing device. if he’s not attached that usually means he’s taking a quick sleep and i need a minute to myself. which leaves not very many free minutes to love on my lucas jude. there’s been several times that my three year old comes to me looking much less like the big boy he’s all of a sudden turned into  and very much like the baby boy he was only a few months ago. he’ll say in his lukey voice, “i-i-i-i-i j-j-j-j-ust wa-wa-want you to hold me.”

oh yeah. you. my boy. come here. right now. before this minute passes and you’re five/fifteen/twenty.  i still need you, too.


  1. Thats such an awesome post!!! and i can totally relate...
    Adrien seemed to grow over night and i can tell that he's trying to be so patient with me and the baby but somedays he's just had enough!! and wants to be held and cuddled with, its moments like that that i have to remind myself that once i became a mom i have to live for my children and give them all the love i have...
    I love reading your blog, and i really need to stop by one of these days to see you, we live so close and yet never hang out!!!

  2. cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute! I love the porch picture! waiting so patiently for his daddy. that's adorable. a small simple moment that became so beautiful because you choose to see the precious moments! :) love you lin

  3. Thank you so much for my sweet gift and message you sent! I love it and it was so thoughtful of you.


  4. Sweet words from a sweet mamma for a sweet boy. I'm pretty sure I'll be having this same dilemma in a month. I'm sorry Gavin is still fussy, that must be a challenge. This too shall pass, right??

  5. and the seasons they go round and round.......Ah I should really sing that song again. I feel all these thing but lack the time to share them, thanks for doing it.

  6. tears are squeezing out of my eyes too.
    i look at my oldest.big. girl and i cannot believe that five years have passed since she was attached to me in the sling.
    now, she thinks and negotiates and helps like a big person.
    how did that happen SO fast?

  7. lucas is one of my favorite people in the world.
    love his 3 year-old self up so much. i can't believe how they grow. cameron let me hold him real tight last night while he fell asleep. and i thought to myself "i don't care that i lay down by this boy every night and snuggle him...because someday he will be too old for it...so i'll take all the lovin' i can get right now"

  8. I know exactly what you mean. When Addison was born, I was spending so much time taking care of him and running my girls every which way that it occurred to me one day that I was not spending any time with my Sean. I felt like I didn't know anything about him. I started right then to change that. They just aren't little long enough to take them for granted!

  9. Good to see you today, even for just a minute. He really is such a cute boy.

    July 25th...it's a Saturday...so it's a date, right?

  10. love this post. i need to hug my cole...right now.

  11. What a cute little man. How do they manage being so grown and so small at the same time?

  12. Linny dear, you always make me cry. Thanks.

  13. i like this picture.
    i like you lucas.

  14. im sure he will treasure this pic when hes older. :) I love his hair too--- such a sweet post. made my eyes tear up!