Thursday, August 21, 2008

the tiny *wonder* of you...


lindsay's journal entry - june. twenty fifth. two thousand and eight.
:camp zarahemla:

dear baby,
the beginning weeks of you has found me here - the early days of summer nestled up to a warm fire. miles away from the boys i love. i've been given charge over a small group beautiful young women. though i'm not sure why, exactly. unless it's the fact that i needed them as much as they need me. i was sleepless, anxious and nervous in preparation for this. they are eager to be fed whatever spiritual energy i have to give. some have heavy hearts and some are full to the brim and spilling over the excitement of teenage life and love. i hope to have reached them all in some way by the end of this week. they have definitely each left their giant girl stamps on my heart.
when i first walked onto our camp, i wandered straight over to the edge of the bank. complete awe at the view before me. the expanse of evergreen, the bright green lake, the sounds of birdies and croaking toads. sweet purple wild flowers and a beautiful deep wilderness surrounded me.
i felt a tinge of heartache at the wonder of my boys back home. wishing they could sense this all with me. though my heart is also very full that this opportunity was given to me. me.
a family of geese were floating across the water. {a mama and her four babies following close behind}and i thought of you. my wee babe. here with me. i've been so busy that i haven't had a real moment to take the thought of you in. during that still minute you were the only thing on my mind. my heart swelled with deep love for the blessing of you. you, my sweet baby, have shared these few days of overwhelming spiritual awareness with me on the banks of this lake.
i am getting ready for you. for your turn.
someday i will bring you all here. andrey and i will look on in amazement as you and your big brother, lucas jude skip rocks, catch toads, climb trees! i will tell you this story of when you were safe in my belly on that day with me. my secret slice of just be brave.
i love you.


  1. That was a beautiful post Lin. I'm glad you had the opportunity to experience the beauty of the moment.
    Love you

  2. Lovely. He is a very loved *wonder*

  3. Sounds like an experience to remember. I hope you were able to inspire and send comfort and hope to these girls lives. You sure are the right girl for the job!

  4. Oh Linds,

    I love your brave heart. And I love to read your words.


  5. What a wonderful job we help create these little bodies to bring into the world. I must say, it sounds like you are doing a great job!

  6. Thoughtful prose from a thoughtful girl. He/She will be here before we know it.

  7. Hmmm, maybe I will start sending these posts to the New York times or something, you've got a way with words.

  8. That was so pretty! I love how you express your feelings! So Beautiful!

  9. you always make me cry, lin. every. single. time. what's the deal?

    i love the way you are preparing for "his turn" what a wonderful way to put it. thanks for your thoughts.

  10. Remember our days as youth in that camp ground, how crazy it would be to be back there. Your amazing I'm sure those girls grew so much spiritually from you, just like the ones you taught as a youth counselor.

  11. LOVED this post! I could feel every word you wrote!